Treated Like a Circus Sideshow…

Janet in the UK was “treated like a circus sideshow.” That is something so many intersex people know so well. Our hearts go out to you, dear one. You are beloved to us here at OII Australia.

Screenshot of article in The Independent.

… I have been unemployed for a couple of years. My mother and I have yet again had to move into a small, one-bedroomed flat due to lack of money, and I see very little chance of me ever having a relationship with a man again, unless I were able to have a clitoral recession to make me feel better about myself. Although I long ago accepted my inability to have children, my sexual inexperience plagues me, making me bitter and unhappy. I am hostile to men because of this, and find it difficult to make female friends due to my difficulty in trusting people and my self-esteem issues: feeling “different”. I have love to give, but am unable to give it to someone and suspect that I may never be able to. The idea of trusting someone enough to make them aware of my background almost seems farcical.

I have good days and bad days. On a bad day, I idly think to myself that I would not particularly mind dying, and envision myself one day committing suicide, when my mother, the only person who ever cared about me, is no longer alive. On a good day, however, I feel confident in my goal of one day being a singer-songwriter, and I feel proud of my lyrics, resolute in my goal of bringing them to the world and singing on stage. This would probably save me. I even sometimes hope that I can one day love someone, and be loved back, more like the vivacious, smiling-faced child I once was. …